Sunday, June 2, 2019

Work Year

This is a work year for me.  It was supposed to be last year but honestly, I don't remember what I was doing or what I was thinking last year.  I was in survival mode.  So... it all comes down to this year.  As I evaluate my life, I can say that yes, I am in a better place.  Work is good but I'm tired.  I have written about being tired.  I will spend the next couple of days doing a little bit here and there.  I want to say that this coming week is my decompression week but I am thankful to be busy.

I read this article recently about a single mother who raised four boys and who was now going to spend four months in Europe, one month for each of the boys that she raised.  In this candid article, she talked about not knowing who she was after raising her children.  Well, I understand this sentiment.  I am using work.  I am using work and the excuse to work to be busy so I don't have to think about all I have to think about.  Next year, God willing, will not be a work year.  So... do I move to Thailand?  Do I become a yogi?  Do I learn Arabic?  Do I make colorful afghans for the homeless?  I guess you can say that the sky is the limit.  Think of the possibilities.  

I am also thankful for work and for busyness.  Last year, it was work that kept me focused enough not to over think or to lose my mind.  I lost my husband and my best friend.  Believe it or not, I had to learn how to talk to other people.  I had to learn how to share what I was thinking and not lock it all in my head in my heart.  Even now, what do I share?  I hope that I am at least helpful in my honesty.  I write this blog not so much for the need for it to be read but for the need to write it.  Another notch in my checklist of busyness that I am thankful for.  

So this is a work year.  What am I working on?  There are a lot of things I am working on.  I am working on maintaining an open communication with my children.  I am working on organizing stuff in my house.  I am working on making healthy choices and I'm working on developing a work out routine.  I am thinking about the things that I would like to do in this life.  Do I even have a bucket list?  Maybe I should start.  I am working on completing my schooling.  I am working on developing my skills.  But more than anything, I am trying to figure out the stuff that really needs to get done to have an authentic life while trusting in God.  Thinking about the options and the possibilities are fun.  More fun than allowing myself to wallow in unhealthy thinking.  I invite you to think beyond who you are to see the great big world.  It may be as simple as going out to see every sunset.  Why not?  

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