So, I met this guy and we started chatting. We hit it off and we arranged for a public date. I don't know what happened. I want to believe that it was an issue of miscommunication but the fact of the matter is that I got stood up. Right now, I still don't know what happened. I think not knowing what happened bothers more than anything. Did he just not show up? Did he show up and leave? Was he even planning on showing up? Was there an emergency? Did he forget the day and time? I don't know. I have been ghosted.
I blame my legs. I mean, this was my first response. He saw my chunky short legs and he was like, "Nope!" It wasn't my legs. It wasn't part of the plan to meet. That's all. Honestly, my calm rational part understands this completely. I have another part that gets mad at God. Yes, I know that we should not get mad at God. But every now and then, kids get mad at their parents and we hear their complaints. I'm not saying that it is good. In fact, I am not recommending going out and yelling or being mad at God. God is good. God is great. I praise God. I think that if we are going to have a relationship with God, we need to talk to him about what bugs us. "God, I don't like knowing what happened. I like closure." I think I hear Him sometimes respond to me, "Too bad." I don't leave it alone. Me: But God, I feel like you dealt me a bad hand. I lost my husband. I have chunky thighs and I get stood up? God, you don't think that's a bit much?" Then I hear God say, "When you are weak then you are strong. (II Corinthians 12)." Apparently I'm running a spiritual triathlon.
So, I'm taking a break after two dates and a third non-date. I'll keep the line on the fishing pole to see if I get a bite but I'm definitely not using a net.