Thursday, June 13, 2019

Dating is like House Buying

So, I'm noticing that dating is a lot like house buying.  Let me talk to you a little about buying your first house as an adult.  Maybe you can relate.  When I moved to Phoenix, I waited before buying a house and then when we finally made the decision to try to buy one with an FHA Loan, the market was changing.  Houses were really low.  I was coming at the very end of the bubble.  I did my research on FHA loans and tried a few places before working with this woman named Beverly in Fairway Mortgage.  I liked her because she talked to us like a human being and not like a corporation.  She asked if we had a realtor dealing with FHA loans.  I told her that I did not.  She recommended a lady at the ReMax office but it wasn't a good fit.  Soon I had Darrell West on my team and he is such a good realtor.  We went out and tireless looked for houses in our spectrum.  He didn't laugh at my wants list.  He sent me listings every day.  He got to know us and our crazy personalities.  My kids threw up and he didn't even blink. 

Buying a house was a lot like the last kid trying to get candy from the piñata.  I thought I would be stuck with a stepped on Tootsie Roll and a melted Milky Way bar.  Then we found our house.  Our house had everything on the wants list but needed some love.  It still needs a lot of love if I'm completely honest (I'm hoping to find a handyman to help me out.  J/K...not really but we can pretend I'm kidding).  Nevertheless, I'm currently a homeowner. 

So, here I am, in my 40s.  I didn't think that I would be dating at this stage of the game.  I joined a few dating apps.  I haven't gone to any open houses or I haven't gone to see any houses.  You know, I took the virtual tours and I'm not really that happy with what I'm seeing.  Apparently, the "houses"  that I am looking at are way out of my price range.  You know what I'm talking about!!!  The "houses" that are in my price range are...  Fixer Uppers?  I know that's not fair to say.  I would say that I need some fixing up too.  But here's the thing, I don't even know how to hammer a nail in and I'm going to get a fixer upper!!!  I mean that both metaphorically and literally.  There may be one or two good houses but they don't have the non-negotiables on my want list. 

Here's the thing, guys don't want a fixer upper either!!!  I don't really know what they want but I know that much is true.  Okay, so at first glance.  I may not be the fanciest house on the block but I'm a solid investment.  Yes, I may need some love but I'll last you.  I know I shouldn't say this but I have a good personality.  People hear that and automatically think, "Ugly."  I have no problem being ugly either!!!  But that is not what the rap songs talk about.  Imagine hearing a rap song about a girl with a good personality and a good sense of humor.  (I'm missing Jesse McCartney singing about "Beautiful Soul" right about now.  Man, I have the maturity of a 16 year old.)

So, all of this dating app stuff and flirting is okay for now but I really don't think that it's my thing.  I'll do it for a little bit.  I'll finish school.  I'll join a crochet circle.  We'll make scarves and afghans for the homeless.  I don't have to buy a house.  I don't have to date.  I don't have to worry about mortgage rates.  I don't have to worry about it at all.  I can just leave it all alone and walk away.  I could look at the night sky and know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am loved by a good God.  I can eat a gluten free cookie and know that I am still the daughter of a King.  I know that I am wonderfully and fearfully made.  It's not like I have never been married or never been loved.  I have been.  It was great.  I think of an old song:

"Some day, when I'm awfully low.
And the world is cold.
I will get a glow, just thinking of you.
And the way you look tonight." 

I'm still glowing.  It may never stop. 


  1. Well written mi Amiga.... Let things happen organically. I would suggest you take some time for you. Like buying a house, you needed to take time to know what you wanted. Hang with family, friends and get out of the house. As far a a handyman, I have some ideas...

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