The Peacemakers

When you are watching or reading about a story, in the reading, there is laid out for you the heroes and the villains.  In fact, we see ourselves as the heroes of our own lives.  Our family and friends are the secondary characters and those that oppose us or make us angry are quickly cast as the villain.  I learned about this when I was teaching and in talking to a student I understood that he saw not just me, but all teachers as the villains in his life.  In fact, all adults were labeled untrustworthy and he lived a type of Peter Pan idealogy where only peers and children could be trusted.  I could see how he got to that conclusion.  It made me think about how I should see people in my own life. It is easier to see how hurt people hurt people and continue to hurt people instead of making them a villain.  Perspective  changes so much how we see things.  

There are wars waging in this world.  I think that it is clear that we are trying to root for the "good guys."  And there is this paradoxical idea where we must fight for peace.  Well... maybe not me but people must and should fight for peace.  To not fight is to not have peace.  

What does the Bible say of this?  It says, "Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called sons of God."  Matthew 5:9.  This is a verse that is part of a set of other verses called the Beatitudes.  This is part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount.  Here he calls blessed a bunch of people that don't seem like they should be blessed, or in the least, it begs to ask how, how are people to be blessed.  I have been marinating  on this verse.  Just this verse since I heard about the conflict in the Ukraine.  Why?  Why is there a need to acquire more land and more power?  Who does this war benefit?  I am being dense on purpose, I know I am but in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't really make sense to me.  And it would seem in this scenario that Ukraine, with a former comedian as a leader, are the peacemakers.  

So... how are they called sons of God?  Are they in fact, sons of God?  I don't know.  But they will be called sons of God regardless.  I think it implies that they are on the side of God which would be the side of good whether or not they are sons of God.  I'm sure that some or all could be sons of God.  I think this is the question.  I think being called a son of God refers more to how they are viewed, or their reputation.  I pray that they continue to fight for the cause of peace.  I pray that they honor the side of good and that they in fact will be remembered by history as peacemakers.  And may God give them victory in their endeavors.  God who knows the hearts of men and the answers to all of the whys.  I pray for peace with them.  May God hear our prayers.  Praise the Lord!

Wasted Time

 You don't know about this but I sit here wasting time.  I spent the day wasting time.  Ask me what I did.  I woke up late.  I rested. I cooked food with my darling husband.  We cleaned a little bit, and that was it! I spent the rest of the time crocheting this afghan I am making for my living room.  I like getting lost in the colors.  They are autumn happy colors that I enjoy blending together. I was supposed to be working on something.  I was supposed to be doing something important, like filling out job applications and helping along on what is next in my life.  But is that trusting God?  

I think what the real problem could be is that trusting God is hard.  Have I said this before?  I'm pretty sure that I have mentioned this before.  Here we are in the middle of the desert of uncertainty and there doesn't really seem to be any resolutions or solutions and we look up to the sky.  We don't think that the answer is up there.  We need to know that the answer is there.  Do you want to know where I come up with this crazy idea?  You will never guess... or maybe you will. It's found in the Bible.

Psalm 121 says: 

"I lift up my eyes to the hills-- where does my help come from?  My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.  He will not let your foot slip-- He who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, He who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep.  The LORD watches over you-- the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not har you by day, nor the moon by night.  The LORD will keep you from all harm-- He will watch over your life; the LORD will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore."  

Is this not exactly the answer to the problems?  Now tell my heart.  Tell my fear.  Tell the part of me that wants to freak out and imagines the worst case scenario.  I recently came across John 14:26:

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whome the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your rememberance all things that I said to you."  

So, I am praying to the Holy Spirit to help me remember and to be taught all the things to get me through things.  Like, when I feel like I'm going to worry, I remember that God tell me not to worry--  Matthew 6:34.  He tells me to cast my anxiety on Him-- 1 Peter 5:7. He tells me to accept His peace-- John 14:27.  

Now that I have had this moment, I am going to pray and instead of feeling guilty about what I call my wasted day, I am going to give God thanks for time spent enjoyably with my family in fellowship and rest.  I needed some rest and I am thankful.  Praise the Lord!  Praise God!  Amen!

Exhaustion and Bereavement

 I have been tired.  There really is no explanation for it. I am behind on work and I'm tired, too tired to catch up.  Have you been there?  I have to plug in for a while and find my energy.  There is too much to do and little time to do it all, to see it all.  I'm so busy living my life that I'm tired and I need some more energy for what is next on the horizon.

So... I hear you asking, "What's next on the horizon?"  I don't know.  I'm living life without GPS but I have G-O-D leading my way so, I'm trusting the One who can see more than what I can from where He is.  There are days when this is really hard.  There are days when I know that I can do this.  I need a lot of reminders.  I need to hear it all the time. This is why I find myself turning to the Word of God to center me.

And then,  I lost a friend.  I consider her a fan of my writing.  She encouraged me in my blog posts  and I considered her one of my best fans.  I had to edit the previous sentence and make it past tense.  I loved her and her beloved husband.  They are home now but I can't believe that they are gone and it hurts because I miss her.  

She was a behind the scenes kind of lady.  She had an attitude of servitude.  I can always rely on her to make the coffee.  She knew where to find everything in the kitchen.  I found out a few years ago that she had a wonderful alto voice.  She would never admit to it. She was always so kind and so easy to talk to.  Her and her husband were...  Gentle, in name and in spirit. I hope I am not stepping out of bounds to write this.  

I still miss my dog.  I didn't even know that I liked him that much.   Someone gave me a puppy to hold and I wanted to walk out the door with someone else's dog.  Tomorrow we would have celebrated his birthday.  He would have been 10 years old.  He was so young.  I expected him to be the last to go and I miss him so much it hurts.  

What do I do with all of the exhaustion and grief?  What do I do?  I turn to God.  I know that He is with me.  I am comforted somehow.  I know that this will pass.  I lean on the promise that He is with me.  I pray that He allows the next transition to be good and that He will not let me fail.  I feel like I should be doing more somehhow.  I am hard on myself because I am not enough, a hard fact to admit, but God is enough.  He completes what I lack and I become more.  This is what I am learning from Him.  So I wait.  I pray.  I mourn.  Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.  Praise God!  I allow myself to receive comfort I don't deserve and I didn't earn.  This is the grace of God.  Praise the Lord!