Well, I was wrong. Today turns out to have a lot of things calling. I need to go to work to drop off a Birthday Present for Esther as well as pick up some things from the office. Today I need to look at some research and see what other things I need to do before next week's Summer Arts Festival Total Take Over. One week each June, my church has a Summer Art Festival which is more like Vacation Bible School. I have been volunteering for SAF for every year I have been attending Trinity Bible Church with the exception of last year. My son is a youth volunteer and this is my daughter's last year to attend before she herself is in Youth. I wish I had the time to mourn my children's transition into adolescence. For those of you who are moms of little ones, it goes by fast and I find it painful to look around and there are no more little ones in the house. Maybe I'm a softie who is over sentimental but WARNING there is some pain there, at least there is for me.
Back to today, SAF is exhausting and it will take the whole week out of the month. My true rest Monday will be the Monday after this June 17th. I will lay in bed and not get out until it is time for Bible Study. It is a busy month and today I woke up understanding that I am already behind schedule. I tell myself, "Don't take out any more books to read. Don't make any more plans to meet up with people. You have a lot of stuff to do." I hear a little voice. It is so small but it is all I hear. Yes, I'm crazy, just go with it!!!
The voice asks me what I wanted to do when I was younger. I have always wanted to write. Even when I was busy wishing to be a princess, I wanted to write. In eighth grade, I wanted to be a child psychologist. In high school, I wanted to be an English teacher to at risk youth. In college, I wanted to be an accountant, a writer, and a professor. I have been almost every single thing I have ever wanted. I have one or two things that I have yet to try. I think about the possibilities. Today, I am allowing myself to dream of being and doing more, even today when I'm tired and cranky that I need to do stuff I didn't want to do. Don't laugh but I recently discovered that I like airports. I do! I need to understand why I like them. I would like to travel and see places. I met this man from Montana and I didn't even really know where it was on the map. It is a cold place I hear. It is up north and there is a famous national park there. I look at the pictures and I think that I would like to go there. I have a friend that has me wondering what Alaska is like. Have I forgotten what it was like to dream?
Today I am meditating on James 4. I can't even say anything because there is a lot going on in that chapter and the whole thing is interconnected. But, maybe I need to ask God where He wants me to go... and maybe this is the Monday to do it.