I sit here contemplating a list of things to do. I have to start writing everything down. The key is to do some of it. Cross off some of the stuff off of the list so that tomorrow, when I look at the list again, I have less to do. There are moments when I think I wake up overwhelmed. You can tell a little bit by the way that I close my eyes and attempt to go back to sleep. I am keeping things at bay. I mean, let's not read into anything too deeply. I am trying to finish school. I'm streamlining my life to accommodate my sweet husband. I'm trying to find my purpose... that's all.
Yes, it's a little bit like a whirlwind. At first, it all gets me nervous. There is an up and down motion of a whirlwind. But then I remember this ride that was the Whirlwind. It was one that went around and around and it also had ups and downs. The centrifugal force would have me crushing the one on the end. Or I would be the one that would be crushed. What was my disposition on this ride? Amazingly enough, I would be laughing. It would by hysterical. Eventually, it would get worse and I would go backwards. I scream with the thrill of it all. The ride would end and I would get in line to experience it all again.
Every now and again, there would be a person that was not ecstatic. They would be panicked and screaming. They would complain about the pressure of crushing or being crushed. It was clear that they were not enjoying the ride. What do you tell that person? Would you tell them to sit back and relax, the ride doesn't last long? It doesn't... I mean, the ride doesn't last long.
So... here is what I am doing. I am continuing to trust God. Sometimes it doesn't look good. There are moments of apprehension. I look out the window at the beautiful sunny day. I am thankful to God for my family. I am thankful to God for my Love. I am thankful to God. I drag all of my concerns and worries to God. I know that He hears me. I feel heard. The joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah, the prophet told this to the children of Israel. They had been disconnected from God. They got together and heard the Word of the Lord read all day. They listened. They were convicted. They remembered... But God. Nehemiah tells them:
"Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength."
It's almost like we have some super power. "Elle, aren't you worried?" Elle sitting down eating chicken wings and a flavored seltzer. Elle says, "No. God's got this." I really wish I could be like this. This is going to be my prayer. Lord, help me trust you not just in the storm but in the whirlwind. I pray to laugh and know that You have it all in Your capable hands. Let me remember that Your joy is my strength. I'm smiling now. The day is still beautiful. I am thankful. I may even laugh. Praise the Lord!!