Thursday, June 27, 2019

Third Date: Reboot

I'm a spazz and I'm finding out that dating is scary.  Out of the blue, this nice guy starts talking to me and we decide to meet for coffee.  I can handle coffee.  I thought I could handle coffee.  Anyway, he comes out of his car and he's SHORTER THAN ME!!!  I must be short guy fodder.  I'm okay with it but he's kind of cute, nice voice; but I'm nervous.  I found out something very important in the course of this venture: Dating is scary. 

We had a good conversation.  We talked about education.  He was well-mannered and potty trained.  I think we have a good vibe going.  I think the question on our mind is, "Do I like him?"  I don't.  He was nicer about the send off.  I was like, "It was nice meeting you."  But I knew even as I left that there would be no second date.  Again, I was relieved.

I'm laughing.  It only took three dates and being stood up to find out that dating is scary and there is every possibility that I am not cut out for this.  It's been fun.  I'm definitely better at talking online with people.  I'm good at theoretically dating.  There is this guy that I am chatting with and we text.  We have been texting in 10 days a conversation that you would normally have in 10 minutes.  In a year, we may meet and I'm not that upset about it. 

I wonder what I want and what I am hoping to find with these dates?  I sit here writing.  I want to ask other dating women what they are looking for.  Online dating seems barbaric to me.  I miss the way it was when we were in school and everyone was single.  You had a crush and was happy when they spoke to you.  Every look was a research project.  We became scientists then.  We analyzed voice timbre and facial expression.  It wasn't just about what he said, it was how he said it.  We miss out on all of that in online dating.  We pick up what other people throw down but what about the whole person? 

There has been no second dates.  I'm okay with it.  Isaiah 26:3 says, "You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You."  So, I will live my hot mess life and be who I am and keep my mind stayed on Jesus because I trust him.  I'm thankful for these experiences.

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