First of all, make sure that you have a decent dating site. Some of the dating sites are true trash (I really didn't like Christian Mingle). I didn't get any response from anybody on that site. Maybe I didn't look Christian enough? It's okay. I'm going to say it is more of a blessing.
Okay, I went on my first date on Father's Day. The guy was allegedly only two years older than me but he definitely looked a little bit older than that. I told him that I would buy him a coffee for Father's Day. He was fine with it. So then he told me a place. He didn't suggest we meet halfway. I'm assuming that this place was right by his house because he was waiting for me when I got there. He sort of resembled his picture. What I wasn't expecting was the flip flops, shorts, tank top and baseball cap. We went in and I bought him his frappuccino. He told me that he was from Rochester, New York. He knew that I was Puerto Rican. He works close to wear I live. He works in Aviation Technology. He has two daughters. Are you noting that I know a lot about him? I WONDER WHY!!! It is because he spent a lot of time talking about himself. Thank God it got hot and we decided to leave. He walked me out to his car. And then... he leaned down. He was as interesting as paint drying and we was going to kiss me? I shook his hand and sort of power walked to my car. I sat down and just stayed there for a minute. Then I started laughing. I laughed and laughed and laughed. By the time I got home, I was still laughing. I was relieved. It went badly but I made it out in one piece.
This second date, we started texting. Then we started chatting on the phone. He was such a sweetheart, great conversationalist on the phone. Allegedly 5'8" tall, and I'm about 5'4". So what happened? He froze. It was soooo awkward. So, I sort of had to carry it and if you know me, you know that I am not always great in these type of social situations. And he was shorter but it wasn't that he was shorter because I think I could deal with this. He's smaller. I felt like Barbie being matched with a GI Joe (not that I'm a Barbie, you know what I mean). I think I scared him away. It wasn't as bad as the first date.
This is what I'm learning. I don't look or act like my age. This is a problem because guys that are my age do look and act their age. I like men to be secure and funny. They don't have to be super good looking but they should be easier not harder on the eyes. I like nice guys that don't make things too hard.
Here's the honest to goodness truth. I have not exhausted bad dates. I'm learning stuff about men. I'm learning stuff about middle aged Phoenix men. It's kind of fun because I am meeting new people. I have other things that need my attention. There is every possibility I end up alone. That wouldn't be so bad.
Now, there were some almost dates. There was the guy who said that he didn't like me but then spoke to me on the phone and changed his mind when he realized that I had some personality. There is this nice guy but he has only reached out to me intermittently online. He sends a lot of pictures but he hasn't really asked me out. Then there is this other guy but he lives far and he is definitely shorter than me which I don't know if I can deal with...
I can't help but think of my tall handsome man. Santi had met some of my exes and he hated that they were my height or close to it. He didn't think any of them were good looking enough. Maybe there was one or two that past muster but for the most part, he was unimpressed with my taste in men. As I peruse the pictures on the dating apps, I could almost hear him advise me to pick guys that are way out of my league. I think he would have had a blast planning dates for me. Someone came up to me and asked if I was missing my husband. I am missing him. There is a Santi shaped hole in my heart. It is going to take forever to heal. Let's see what happens. God is in control.