I have been thinking about death. My mother died. My father died. My husband died. I have had a lot of death. I think about what they have left behind. I am left behind. When I die, this nobody, I will be survived by my children. I teach them, as the Israelites were ordered by God, to teach their children about Him and His wondrous works; to teach their children about how God rescued them out of Egypt. My truth is God.
There will come a day that I and my children will be persecuted for believing and following. Lord, please help us hold fast to You and not this dying world. People want to do things to support and contribute. They ask me to join them. I too feel like I need to contribute to the cause of love and not hate; to the cause of peace and not violence. I can not use violence to spread peace, can I? Can I use hate to spread love? This does not even make sense to me. There is every possibility that in addition to being a hotter mess, I am an idiot. I can be an idiot.
Listen, I just want to follow Jesus. He is my truth, He is my way and He is my light and life. I've been called worse. So what will I do? I will pray. I will pray for this nation. I know what you are thinking. Prayer is not enough, Elle!!! Okay. I will love. I'm not just talking about my friends. I will love that kid down the block that drives me nuts with all of the profanity he uses. I will love the people that are put in my path. The people that are hard to love. I work as a teacher. When I get hard kids, I love them. I pray to God to give me the love that He has to love other people. You know what I see? I see people in pain, not hard people. I see tired people, not irritable people. I see people with a heart of compassion... the way that God must look upon me and the rest of my brothers and sisters in humanity (Matthew 9:36).
This is a nation in pain. There have scars that have never healed right and instead have caused further damages. It is easy to blame the blade for causing the pain instead of the wielder of the blade (That baddie, Satan). How do we fight evil? I am not a healer. Here is what I will do. I will pray. Again I say that prayer is enough. Why? Because our God is enough!!!
This nation, the United States of America is in turmoil. Citizens are crying out for justice in this land. I pray that you heal, God. I pray that you grant peace and understanding to those who are suffering, to those who feel lost. Oh God, it is so easy to feel lost, Lord. I pray that there are opportunities to forgive instead of continuing the cycles of hate that we create out of fear. I pray for the families of those who are left behind. Those who are in mourning. Lord, please comfort them, for You are close to the broken-hearted. I know this well.
I don't know what Your plans are, God. I don't really need to know. I pray Lord for Your will to be done as it has been done thus far, for You are Sovereign. I know that you are a God of justice and that vengeance is not of our hands but of Yours. You repay, for vengeance is Yours. Let us not think that we must pay back what only You can. I pray for mercy. I pray that this turmoil becomes a situation for salvation and a revitalization of Your communities and churches, of Your people. Keep us, Oh Lord till that final day.
In Your Holy Name I pray,