Saturday, July 27, 2019

Red Lipstick

There is something about red lipstick.  When I look through my lipstick case, I go through all of the colors and there is a dominance in the color red.  I have four different types of red from the same lipstick company.  I have peachy red, bluish red, orangy red, red red.  I like taking the red and adding an additional red chrome on top.  I want to believe that I have the right kind of lips and skin tone to be able to wear the red lips that I love.

Here is the thing.  I don't really like red.  I don't have a lot of red clothing.  I have one or two red purses and maybe one or two pairs of red shoes.  I like my red mixed into some type of pattern.  There is something about wearing a red lipstick that empowers you though.  I think that my first red lipstick was L'Oreal Colour Riche in British Red Coat.  I loved the creamy formula and there was a slight fragrance that added to the allure of wearing my lips red.  Red lipstick doesn't do well in the Arizona summers.  I bought a beautiful Buxom red lipstick and it melted!!! I found that lining my lips red is the secret to keeping the lipstick just where I wanted it.  You need to go a deeper red than the color that you are wearing.  I like to make my lips ombre by putting a gold or orange in the inner center of my lips.

In the 90s, I wore my red flannel with blue plaid with my red lipstick.  I don't think that my father appreciated that red lipstick.  He never really said anything about it.  He didn't tell me not to wear it.  He definitely noticed when I didn't wear it.  I liked to wear my red with navy blue liquid eyeliner.  I also had a penchant for this shiny chrome purple eyeliner that I wore a little too religiously.  I had this purple and red striped cardigan with a zipper that I would wear all of the time.  It's funny the things you remember when you're reminiscing.

When my husband died, I don't think that I really knew how to mourn.  What does mourning mean?  I really didn't know.  Did I wear black all of the time?  Do I wear my ring?  Do I wear make up?  What kind of colors can I wear?  I didn't buy the guidebook on mourning.  I was told that I make up my own rules.  I started by wearing only black and not wearing make up.  I was on the bereavement diet.  Finally, I had lost my appetite!!!  My poor son lost his appetite too.  I gave all of my crazy eye shadows away.  I gave away all of my great lipsticks.  I left the nudes and the boring colors.  It lasted a week.  I talked about buying that Lime Crime Red Velvetine lipstick.

These days, I wear my red lips.  When men comment about about my lips first, I know for a fact that they are not the one.  Complimenting my lips first means that they are not the guy for me, if you know what I mean.  I'm tempted not to wear my lips so red.  I mean, what message am I sending?  But I will be nothing less than my most authentic self.  Anything less seems false.  It seems like me, purple hair and red lips.

I have been changing.  I have noticed it.  I'm not as concerned with my designer purse obsession.  I eat when I'm hungry instead of all of the time.  I have lost my will to shop.  I only shop when I need something.  I recognize myself when I wear my red lipstick.  I can trace myself when I look at myself in the mirror with my red lips.  I wear my red lipstick for me.  I don't always have to wear red lipstick but when I do, I think I feel better.

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