Freedom

Happy July 4th!!!

Today is Independence Day.  I wish you all a very happy and safe Fourth of July, as we refer to it here in the States.

I have been thinking of this concept of freedom.  When people ask me about being single, I usually bring up some concept of freedom to defend why I'm not too stressed about it.  I remember being asked about being single and I would tell people the following story:

My husband and I would discuss what we would buy for each month and the bills that needed to be paid.  Some months there was room for extra and some months there weren't.  If you know me, I love make up.  I do!!!  I see make up as paint for my canvas.  Sometimes I like really expensive paint.  Well, after my dear sweet guy passed away.  I figured out the budget and like most normal adults, I paid my bills.  Well, I remember being victim to the most seductive lipstick ad.  It was for Lime Crime's Velvetine in Red Velvet.  I love lipstick but red lipstick just may be my Kryptonite (that and Doritos).  I could not stop looking at that ad.  I wanted that lipstick so bad.  In my head I could almost hear my husband fighting with me.  "You don't need another red lipstick. It's expensive, wait till next month."  I put the lipstick in my digital cart.  I kept on hearing him.  "What if it isn't the color that you really wanted?  Are you going to return it?"  Returning things is not something I am known for.  I hate returning things and will make sure that it is something that I really want just so I don't have to return it.  I remember paying for it and just smiling.  It was the first time I was able to see through the miles of grief that was in front of me.  I could buy lipstick and there was no one to stop me!!!

I am free to buy lipstick.  Not really because I have my son asking me now if I really need another red lipstick but it isn't the same thing.  I think about the things that I have adapted that allow me freedom.  I'm working on my degree and there are days when housework is the last thing on my mind as I try to occupy the children and submit work.  You should also know that when the kids and I are home the house is somehow more messy then when we are in school and work.  I can put off fixing things for a few days without having an argument.  I mean I try to get the kids to clean up after themselves but the heavy, mom cleaning that usually gets done can wait until I get around to it.  There is no one to consult when I am planning a trip.  I don't have anyone but myself and my children to consider when I'm making choices.  There is also no one but myself to blame when I mess up, and I mess up!!!

I find that I pray more.  The conversations that I would have had with my husband, I talk with God about.  The silly thoughts that occur in my head.  The crazy rantings, I tell Glenda but I also tell God.  I am always so surprised at the peace that I feel. In Christ I am free.  II Corinthians says 3:17 says, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom."  Praise the Lord!

My friends, good friends, tell me that I will meet someone.  They assure me as if I were a catch too good to be left on the market.  I am so blessed to be so loved!!!  I think about who I am:  Christian, Latina, Academic, Mom, Mess.  I understand that there may be no one out there to vibe with me.  I'm okay with this.  When I get lonely or upset that it is just me, I think of my freedom.  I think about God's graciousness in my life and all I can be after all of that is grateful.

Special thanks for our Veterans, Active Soldiers, Those Deployed and those Fallen  Your service has allowed me a portion of my freedom.  Thank you for your service to our country!!!