Here in Arizona, where COVID 19 is hitting record highs, the quarantine has been lifted and the curfew has been removed; we are certainly not back to normal. We tend to not eat in restaurants where there is no dine in service. I am finding that we would prefer to eat at Denny's than go to a fancier place for food just because we can eat it there. My son has developed a newfound love for Denny's. LOL!! I think it's funny. Now when we pass Denny's he's like, "Denny's!!! Yum!!" And still there is longing and wanting, it is for a time or an experience but it is still wanting.
You don't realize things until you realize things. I didn't know how much I would miss going to the movies and having frozen yogurt after with my kids. I took them to their favorite restaurant for their promotion dinner and it was closed. It may never open again. I went to get my tires rotated and I had to drive my car into the bay myself. I need to get my car detailed but people don't even want to touch your reusable shopping bags, imagine the inside of a grimy car. And I don't blame them. I would love nothing more than to be selfish about things. I would love to kick my heels against the ground and have a tantrum about the state of things. Isn't this all have to do with wanting? Getting our way? Getting my way?
I think the problem that I have with all of this wanting is an ego problem. I want things to get back to normal. I want to be done with my degree. I want to move. I want to do what I want and not worry about the situation of the world. What I want and what I am likely to have are two different things. Psalm 23 begins, "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want." And yet, here I am wanting. Is this why I got off of social media? Maybe.
I was chatting with a friend and I was telling her how lovely it is to not make plans on a recent staycation. I don't have to listen to anyone or argue with anyone on what I should or shouldn't be doing. I think I am adapting to singleness. This is me being content with what I have. I have added another color to my hair and I don't have to ask anyone if they like it and worry that they don't. It forces you to be more independent, this singleness. I thought I wanted to be married again. Maybe I don't want to be married. I meet friends for lunch or coffee. It doesn't matter who they are. I don't have to worry what anyone thinks about it. I am learning to appreciate the present for what it is. I tend to think and worry about the future. When I want it is usually for another day. Unless it is pizza, I want pizza right now!!! Proverbs 27:1, James 4:13-15, Matthew 6:33-34, they all talk about not worrying about tomorrow. All of this worry and want is wrapped together. I need to take it and throw it away.
Today I will be thankful or I will try to be thankful. I will consider today. I will consider the good parts. I will be thankful I am not in pain today. I will be happy that I have my faculties today. I will be grateful or try to be truly grateful with what is in front of me. Such a challenge!!! I suggest you try it. Let me know how it goes. Until next time, praise the Lord!!!
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