I'm taking a break. I have a lot going on. There is a lot going on in the world at large. So... I decided to step away. I don't know how long; a few days, a week, 2 weeks, a month, a year... I don't know. I will miss birthdays and announcements. I will allow myself to be forgotten by those far away from me. I have way more people from different states than from my current home state. I'm sorry. I need to step away.
Why? I'm stepping away for my sanity. My friend, April mentioned something like this to me today. I told her, "I love your hiking post." She said humbly, "I do it for my sanity." I thought about what I needed to do for my sanity. I need to eat better. I need to sleep more. I need to pray and meditate on God and His Word. Today I realized I was angry. I may have been hangry because I have eaten lunch and now I sit here typing with my eyes half closed. Food and a nap were what was needed. But then I logged on and for a second, I couldn't look any more and I realized I didn't have to. Funny, the people that I really talk to "In Real Life" are people that I don't necessarily need to see on social media. My friend asked me, "What about the blog?" What about the blog, indeed? I post it on Facebook. I do have a link to it in my Instagram. In looking at the data, there are some people that access it directly but most of you are reading from my Face Book posts Thank you. I'll post on Face Book.
My intention is not to punish anyone, I think the reward comes in not seeing so much of me (😜). I have a lot on my plate. I have already a lot of emotions that I am dealing with. There is every possibility that I am not okay today but I will be. I think about this story that I am living. I think about how at every turn I want to do something selfish. I do. I am battling my selfishness to serve and be of use to our great God. How am I selfish? Oh man! I can count the ways. I would like nothing more than to lay on my couch and binge on Doritos and terribly bad and inappropriate television. I don't want to have to work at anything. I don't want to go through anything. I don't want to write anything. I don't even want to dress in anything. I just want to veg. I don't want to be helpful. This includes not being in God's Word. This includes nurturing bad friendships that lead me into non-healthy thinking and gossiping. Some of you say, "Elle, you would never." And I don't! That's why I'm staying away for a while. I need to reset. I look at your posts and for the most part, I am praying for you. Every now and again I see a vacation that I would like to go to and I become envious. Every now and again I see someone killing it with losing weight and I get angry. Every so often I see the nation that I love on fire being destroyed from the inside out and it makes me want to find a country to move to. That's not a solution, is it? I may be wrong in taking a break. I never had a problem being wrong. I'm often wrong. I'm a hot mess, don't you know. I just think I need to be a little selfish to stave off bigger selfishness, if that makes sense. Pray for me, Friends. I will keep you all in prayer. Praise the Lord!!!
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