Friday, May 15, 2020

So Close

So close... So close to this school year ending.  So close to finishing my last degree... So close to the graduation of my students... So close to my children moving up...  It feels so close... and yet so far away.

Soon the everything will be open again.  Soon we will see friends.  Soon we will find out what the new normal will be like.  I think of other things.  Soon I will get to go home.  Soon I will see family and friends that have gone on before.  I am faced with waiting and with impatience that life is so very short to have to wait for anything.  However, God tells us to wait on Him. 

I want to tell Him, "God, don't you know how short my time on earth is?  Already I am midlife!!!  Just yesterday I was a teenager wild and free!!!"  I wonder how many times God has been asked, "How long?" 

One of my children is patient.  I tell her, "We will go in about 30 minutes."  As a child, this sweet girl would say, "Okay." and hop on over to what she was doing to wait.  I looked for signs of impatience or defiance.  There was none.  She was happy to wait.  I am not like that.  My other child takes after me.  When we butt heads, I have to remember that it is that we are more alike than dis-alike.  He will question and be sarcastic.  There have been times when he will load the car and sit in a hot passenger seat to wait because he knows it will make me leave that much faster.  I love them so much, both of them!!!  What to do and what not to do, the model and the lesson.  I'm learning still. 

As things approach, I am both excited and overwhelmed.  I am both anxious and anticipatory.  I am fearful and trusting.  I unpack these emotions to look at them.  I see that the real issues are my humanity and God's divinity.  These are always the issues.  I would be a better Christian if I didn't have to deal with the issues in this life.  LOL!!!  Wouldn't we all. 

So close...  So close to God.  Every day He is so close to me.  So far and yet always so close.  Praise the Lord!

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