Sunday, May 10, 2020

Mom Thoughts

I am sitting here eating leftover gluten free birthday cake for breakfast.  This past week I have not had so much cake in my life!!!  Relax, there is no sugar in my coffee.  In any case, I was sitting here and I realized that I really don't know a single thing.  I can't predict what will happen tomorrow.  I have never been able to predict what will happen tomorrow.  However, this morning, I remembered the past.

I was looking through photos trying to find one of my mother.  I didn't find it but I came across so many of my every day life.  Pictures I have posted and of people and events.  I looked at pictures of my late husband, smiling.  I thought, "You don't know that in a few years you will not be here.  You don't know that you will get to go home and I will stay here trying to raise our children."  There wasn't enough pictures of him.

The same could be said for my mother.  I look at her pictures and she is brave and fearless.  You could tell that she is so strong.  She is fierce and beautiful.  I remember her to be the best mom.  I loved her hugs.  She was some sort of gift to the world, my mother.  She died from complications of Lupus at the age of 39.  I have outlived her.  I think of her.  God saw fit to bring her home as well and I wonder what types of conversation she has had with Santi.

I don't know.  Will my children think, "There are not enough pictures of mom?" It's funny what they remember.  When I hear their stories, they remember the worst times with fondness.  Do you remember when we got lost, Mom?  Do you remember when Janet threw up?  Do you remember getting mad at this party?  Here I am trying to forget and there they go remembering!  They won't remember that I didn't want to take a picture because I looked awful in that angle.  They will just remember their mother.  God, in His infinite mercy didn't leave me alone.  He saw fit to allow me to become a mom.  I look at them now.  How do I raise you?  My constant prayer is for help from above to raise them.  I am not alone.  I have friends, and family and church members giving and lending me so much help.  I can only be thankful.

I am honored and privileged to be a mom, to walk in the steps of mom-dom.  When I am told, "Happy Mother's Day" today.  I think to myself, "I'm a mom."  It is unbelievable.  I have to pinch myself.

Moms, Grandmas, Aunts, Godmothers, Mom-Helpers, Sisters, Brothers- take the pictures.  Take all of the pictures and post them.  Love hard.  Forgive often because most of the time, it may have happened to you but it is not about you.  Take a moment and eat cake.  Not all of the cake!!!  Some cake!  Remember hard and write it down.  I feel like I'm living this life on the back of God's pick up.  I'm looking back while He's driving me forward and I trust that He knows where he is taking me.  I may have had some bumps but I'm still riding.  I'm enjoying the view and looking back through where He has taken me.

Happy Mother's Day!  God bless.  Praise the Lord!

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