Today I went out without make up and I caught a glimpse of my reflection in a shop window. I didn't seem to recognize myself with my hair up and no make up. Where was my red lipstick? Where is my long lashes and colorful eyeliner? Where is the blush and highlighter? By the time I got home I looked into the mirror and was relieved to find that I'm still the me that I think is attractive. I don't know what happened but in that moment, I had a thought: What if I'm unloveable?
I know I'm attractive. I know this. I know that I have a beautiful heart. I have been called beautiful. So... why this thought that came at me while I was walking? It felt like an attack (and maybe it was an attack). I mean, does it matter if I'm attractive...even if. I. don't. have. anyone. to. love. me. Man, this blog has me saying the hardest stuff. This is the real fear that came at me as I was walking with Glenda, my best friend on a holiday after seeing a best friend movie. Maybe there is something about my personality that men find repulsive. Maybe it is my weight, despite the fact that I have been on several dates with guys that didn't seem to care about my weight at all. Here is the thing, maybe it's all in God's timing and I'm allowing myself to forget that whatever happens, God is in control.
Am I loved? Yes!!! Are you loved? Yes!!! Despite any flaws in my personality, nature or physical being. I am loved by an awesome God. Don't let anyone tell you (including and especially yourself) that you are unloveable. You are not. And you never will be.
"For God so loved the word that He sent His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life."