Convalescence

As you know, I contracted bronchitis.  On Thursday I went into work and had a relapse.  As I was leaving, I started coughing.  By the time I got home, I could barely get air in my lungs.  I sat.  I took my medication.  I was good and properly sick.  Any plans that I had for the rest of my break had to be foregone.  I was down for the count. 

For the last couple of days, I have been meditating.  I thought that I would start this new year, this new decade active.  God had other plans.  I spent the start of the year in contemplation and forced stillness.  I allowed myself to be cared for by my growing children.  I would have panicked.  I would have made plans.  I would have kept myself busy.  I would have spent it thinking who I wanted to be.  Instead, in humility, I went to God. 

I put away the plans.  The holidays snuck up on me and I didn't even think about the new year.  I thought about self-care, book lists, meditating.  I thought about exercise plans and diets.  I thought about new habits and things that I needed in order to build myself up.  I am halted.  Instead I am thinking of God.  Whether I lose weight or gain weight; whether I move or stay; whether I am happy or sad; no matter what, I will cover myself with God.  I will read His Word.  I will shine His light.  I will go where He will lead me.  Instead of holding on to myself and building myself up, I will let go and let Him.  That's it.  Praise the Lord!!!