This past week with just my daughter, I have been feeling rundown. I'm a little tired. I'm not feeling really rested. I confess that I have been feeling this way for a few weeks prior. What I was expecting to feel is relieved. I am not relieved. I have made a list of all the things that I need to do. I have a lot to add to it and I have started working toward the list, but I'm tired.
Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11: 29-30 NKJV
This morning I heard the answer as if in a dream. If you are tired then rest. But I have to do A, B, C and then I have to do E, F, G. I won't be able to do anything if I don't get the rest I need. The issue is that I feel almost irresponsible and I don't want anybody to think that I am irresponsible. I find myself feeling bitter over little things. There is a distaste for things, I know what is coming, BURN OUT.
I look at the things that are so very important right now. I can see that there is worry underlying my need to get things done. As soon as I followed the thought to the root, I can see the answer.
Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?
I look at my list. I will tell you a thought sequence that is currently contributing to some of my stress. As you know, I have been considering dating. I have even talked about dating commodity. I have thought that maybe I should lose a few pounds to increase my dating potential. I have also thought about eating better so that I can feel better. I have though about working out because I like how I feel after I work out but I would be lying if I didn't have that additional reason in the back of my mind. In reading the above verse, it says not to worry about the body. I will treat it right but if I don't lose weight, I shouldn't worry about it. God is ultimately in control.
But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:33-34
So today I am resting. I am spending time in prayer. I am reading the Bible and (this is the hardest part) I am trusting in God to take care of tomorrow.