At the suggestion of my dear friend, I decided to try a Christian dating website. Okay, so... I have no idea what I am doing but I think it's funny!!! This should probably NOT be my first reaction. There is the option of sending winks and messages. I'm chunky so I think it's important to show that I'm chunky. I put in ONE picture of half my body. I think this is enough.
I have a couple of concerns. I definitely, I mean, definitely do NOT want a mass murderer. I have decided. I love to read the description of these men. I also like to see the different pictures. I wonder what is thought of me. I wonder what their first impressions are. I have no idea. I feel like I'm going to have to adjust my description as I go along.
I'm learning about who I am through this process. I need to ask who I am in order to see what it is that I think I want. There is every chance that I really don't want to date but I want to stay single and what I really wanted the whole time is to try it out to see what I want. I feel that this is similar to working with my students. They come to me and they have no idea what they want to be. In their heads, the only jobs that exist are the jobs they see and they know. They have no idea of all the other occupations out there. They need to ask themselves questions. They need to see the work environment and try out different jobs to see how they feel. I worked for a non-profit as an activist for a week. I learned a lot. I learned that I didn't want to be an activist. Approaching dating is like this.
There are days when I think about what I'm expecting. I think just knowing that there are like minded individuals out there that are not in my circles is enough for now. I think I was worried about my potential to date due to the limited selection that I'm exposed to; not that the selection that I'm exposed to is lacking. I just want to know that there is more and what does the "more" look like. I was talking about it to my very very close friend. We need comfortable shoes for our jobs and we talk about it all of the time. Whenever we find a good pair of multi-purpose, comfortable shoes that can be worn with many outfits, we celebrate. We go to Last Chance (Nordstroms' Clearance Store) sometimes. Well, I think that I felt like here I am looking for a specific pair of shoes at Last Chance and getting upset? frantic? annoyed? (feeling some type of way) because all I can find is a pair of used black Toms (BTW I really was looking for a pair of black Toms but they were hard to find in Last Chance). Are the Toms not enough? What was I expecting? What was I hoping to find? Why were the Toms not enough? Could they be enough? Am I going to leave the Toms and then wish I would have bought them? Look at all the questions and issues that arise from shoe shopping, imagine all of the extra stuff to think about in dating! Going on a dating website is like someone telling me that there is a store that only sells black shoes for work. Maybe I'll find something there, maybe I won't but it gives solace to me that there is a whole store full of shoes that I may or may not like. The problem may be that I like all of them but none of them will fit. At least, I'm getting closer to finding what I need... I mean in terms of shoes. By the way, I did find a pair of Skechers shoes that are closed toe, have a sneaker sole. They have a cooling memory foam insole that are black with a black sole. I love them!!! I found them on BOGO on clearance. It was a definitely a match!!!