Monday, April 20, 2020

Thoughts on a Mother's Death

Today when I woke up, I got the worst news.  The mother of my dear friend and sister passed away.  Here is the thing: I prayed for her.  I prayed for her healing.  It really seemed to me that she would turn a corner. I can't imagine my friend losing her mother this way.  She had so much life!!!  Like any mother, when around a motherless child (like me) she sort of became the mother I didn't have.  I remember her giving me advice and looking after me.  I remember conversations we have had.  I remember that she was allergic to dust and how supportive she was of her daughter and by extension, me.  Even if it is not true, I feel that prayers were not enough.  I don't know.  It feels like I let her down.  I'm praying for her, her brother, her sweet daughters and her husband.

This morning I woke up and I got ready for work.  I walked the 5 feet to my little desk set up in my bedroom.  I sat down and started the day with a video conference.  My cat, Midnight, climbed up to my lap for attention.  The sun is shining so bright outside but in another state, in another city, people are dying.  There are people praying for health over a relative, over a friend.  There are people in mourning.  Some joke about this.  Here in Arizona, in my little ranch house with my children, there are times when the horror is far far away.  I hear of news from New York City.  I hear of news from other countries with much much stricter regulations for quarantine.  Every time I think of the word: pandemic, I am in shock and awe.  There are days when it doesn't seem real to me.  This is a global issue, a global pandemic.  I am living in a movie.

A friend of mine tells me of a guy that he knows that doesn't feel that quarantine is real.  He is not following the guidelines.  I'm not sure how but he tells him that he should maintain the 6 feet and he should be social distancing.  I also hear from yet others how this is some way for the government to control and manipulate the media and the people.  It is real.  I feel it.  I feel the pain of loss and of grief for this wonderful woman and my dear sweet friend.  I long to fly over to where she is and hug her and just keep hugging her until she is sure that I love her.  I don't have this ability.  Instead I only have my words and prayers.  Be merciful to those who are suffering, Friends.  Pray for peace upon their lives.  May God bless you.

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