Today is Palm Sunday. I had forgotten about Easter. In my head, before the madness that is this pandemic even started really, I had imagined that it would be over by Easter. It's not. It would have been my daughter's official last egg hunt as a member of the children's ministry. It would have been her last Pinewood Derby and she would have been prayed over and given something to commemorate her tenure as a child attending church for the majority of her life. This year my children will be transitioning to high school and middle school without much fanfare. I will fare my fan for them but it will not be the same.
On my feeds, people are dying. I have said, "I am sorry for your loss." more than I would have imagined. I am sitting here looking at the palm trees that surround me. I am praying for healing. I don't know how to feel or what to think. I look up to the sky and I am thankful this day. I am thankful to God. You see, I want to be worried. I want to read all of the articles and I want to worry about when things will get back to the alleged 'normal.' I want to wallow in the muck of worry and anxiety and have an excuse to behave badly. Instead I sit here and say silent prayers. I thank and believe in God.
I heard from someone recently that religious people are the worst. Aren't we though? I know that I am no angel. I tell people that I am one of those Christians that really do need Jesus. You know what I mean, "That girl needs some Jesus!!!" Yes I do. Hence the hotter mess tag everywhere. Let's not forget how much I need Jesus.
I have no more words to write for now. I am praying for you all. If you need to believe in something, I offer to you God. That's all for now. Praise God!
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