I think that I have struggled with acceptance and validation. I think that this is the reason that I had a hard time with insecurity. In general, I am a very secure person. I believe that this is the first thing that you would notice about me. And yet, I think that I had a lot of trouble with finding validation with other people..
In high school, I wanted to be a singer. I loved to sing. I sang often in church and I would find avenues to sing in. I met my husband and he loved that I was a singer. I sang in school choirs and college choirs. I would audition. My father supported me in my love of singing. I thought that I would try my hand at it as much as possible when I graduated from college. It was a thing. I hung out with Abigail Alexander and she would tell me that I was like the Counting Crows song, "Mr. Jones." I wanted it all so badly, the creativity, the fame and the wealth. I thought that my personality and my life was about this. I remember waking up one morning and instantly understanding that this life that I wanted so badly was not what God wanted for me. In a moment, all desire to be a singer disappeared. Instead, I was led down paths of education to educate. I am soooo stubborn, God saw fit to lead me down the only door that was left and I went... kicking an screaming!!!
I didn't want to be a singer, I wanted validation. I wanted to find value in what other people thought. But...(And I say this with love), people suck!!! Not all people but trying to seek validation from people is definitely not a good idea. I read Romans 8, yes, the whole chapter. It tells me that I am more than a conqueror. It tells me that if God is for me than who can be against me. It tells me that there is now no condemnation for me in Christ Jesus. As the school year starts and I develop new friendships with co-workers. My prayer is to not go after what I already have, validation. Because God's validation is enough.
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