I was hanging out with Geoff when he asked me how we were going to celebrate Janet's birthday. JANET'S BIRTHDAY!!! In about three weeks, Janet will be thirteen years old. Never mind that there are some days she can pass for 24 years old. She is tall and statuesque. I don't make it any better when we play with make up. She's a kid! I played with make up when I was her age. I would go to Diana and Debbie's house and play with their eye shadows and eyeliners. I loved the royal blue and pink. Man, it seemed just like yesterday. Back then, the only way to wear eyeliner was on the water line. And now I'm singing Madonna's border line because water line and border line are enough alike for me to feel it.
I digress. It is almost painful thinking about Janet turning into a teenager. I will not have any more children in the house. Where did the time go? I blinked and they grew up. There is a fear in having them older. Who will they become? Will they love Jesus? What have I done? At the end of the questions is this thought: Have I been a good enough mother? I had to stop there for a moment. That last sentence was like a punch in the gut. I pray for them fervently. I tend to pray for those with requests and I have a consistent list of people that I have been praying for, but I end up usually praying for my dear sweet babies. I pray that they never leave the path set out before them. I pray that they always follow God.
Yes, I will have two teenagers in the house and I look down the road to five very short years and already they will be adults. I think to the things I have been putting off like braces and contacts. It is about that time that their bedroom furniture needs to be changed to teen furniture, whatever that looks like. I mentioned to Geoff just today that he hopped on this ride at the right time. I meant it sarcastically. He just smirked. He's familiar with teenagers. He has more of an idea than I have of what is to come. I think it helps them to have him alongside of me. They are not as worried about leaving mom behind in the dust by her lonesome. He gets me out of my shell. We don't feel as isolated about having to quarantine and I have been thankful to have another adult around sometimes.
There are prayers for the upcoming year no matter what the year brings. I tend to imagine the worst case scenarios then worry about the worst that is to come while still living in the present. This is all wasted energy. I just need to trust in God and His plan. Praise God. May He prepare my heart to raise my children. May He help me in the ways that I need. May God bless this coming year, for everyone, you included, Reader. May God bless you this coming year. And when you think of me, please say a quick prayer for this mama who is the mother of two teenagers, one of them a TEENAGE GIRL!!!
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