I am sitting down and feel the places where I have held tension. We put our bodies through stress through a million different ways we hold ourselves, we brace ourselves. I stretch even a little and I can feel it in my lower back. I feel it in my shoulders and the base of my neck. I move my head from one side to another and I hear a crack. I breathe in. Here is the thing. I know better. I know that I should be stretching. I know that I should be drinking more water. I know that I should take deep cleansing breaths in and out. In these winter months, I should take a walk now and again to stave off the lack of light during the day. Lack of light makes people prone to depressive episodes. Depressive episodes allow the devil, that snake, to come and whisper from his stockpile of lies to further defeat you. Misery truly loves company.
I push my shoulders back and take a breath. "I love..." I breathe out. "You, Lord." I breathe in. "A-lle..." I breathe out. "lu-jah" I breathe in. Why don't I do what I should do to keep myself well? Why do I forget to take care of myself in these small ways?
When I was in high school, I wore a uniform. Even with tights, I would feel the New York City cold. I knew that if my legs would get dry then the skin would become itchy and uncomfortable. I would forget to put the lotion on even though I had plenty. Even now I forget and I have a plethora of lotions in my room. I sit here thinking of all of the things that I should do but don't because I don't want to or I forget. I don't follow best practices when it comes to me. I realize I will not be able to do them all and there are some I have learned never to go without but I need to be better and do better at taking care of myself.
The same holds true for spiritual principles. I have a devotional app that includes a Bible. I am able to listen to the Bible and read the devotions in the morning and evening. I don't always do this. I will go a few days and then as I go over what I need to do, I will eventually remember and catch up. I am always behind. I sabotage myself and I don't really know why. There is a selfishness in taking time to take care of yourself, but I will do it for a series, or a movie. I will pick the empty and wasteful time over the more productive. It is almost like picking empty calories over the good calories. I did that for years and now I am counting calories and eliminating sugar and carbs. If I had been doing it all along there is a possibility I would have to do it so rigorously now. It is true, sooner or later you should take care of yourself before it becomes a need, both physically and spiritually.
Take care of yourselves, Friends.
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