Monday, December 16, 2019


I met Cari about 10 years ago.  She was my friend.  After the birth of her son, Jack, she found out that she had breast cancer.  Jack is 8 years old.  She fought for about 8 years.  Then she lost her fight.  She went home the same year my other best friend went home.  I lost two of them the same year.  It was a rough year. 

Last year, my friend, Anja and the rest of the staff at Maya sponsored Cari and me to go to the Justin Timberlake concert.  It was such a blessing!!!  We laughed.  We danced.  We enjoyed our time together.  I loved Cari.  With her, she cut through the niceties and met me where I am all the time, where the truth is.  She didn't have to be nice with me around. 

Benjamin and David are the same age.  Janet and Johnny are the same age and Jack... Jack is the the baby.  I guess you can say that Jack is shared.  Cari and I raised our children together.  We went to Repticon together.  John stayed away from gluten.  If I was someplace, she would put aside gluten free treats for me.  We talked of IEPs and teaching. 

I spoke at her memorial.  I talked about the day that Santi died.  I told her not to come over to the house.  She didn't listen.  She came with a van full of groceries.  I was a mess.  The house was a mess.  Cari came into my mess.  She didn't care about messes.  She knew that we are all messes saved by grace.  This whole blog is sort of a memorial to her.  We admitted to each other that we are both bad  parents, bad wives and hot messes saved by the wonderful grace of Jesus.  We were real to each other and I miss her acutely but for God and His infinite grace...

I live on with pieces of Cari with me.  She was a light and she leaves a legacy of laughter and love even when it is beyond hard to hold on.  I think of her often.  I think of her strength and courage.  The last thing she told me was in the church's Thanksgiving.  She knew that she was going to go home soon.  We were singing.  We were all singing.  I was singing with my harmony.  She said, "You have such a pretty voice.  But soon, I'll be able to sing better than you."  I told her.  I told her to tell James that I missed him.  I told her to tell him that I loved him.  Oh Cari, until we meet again, Friend.  Until then...

No comments:

Post a Comment