Tuesday, August 4, 2020

The Splash Zone

There is something to be said for busy.  I'm usually anxious and stressed coming back.  It's only been the second day.  I remember working in retail or the restaurant industry and I found that my best days are days that I didn't have time to think about anything but the task at hand.  You start and you go, go, go, until the day is done.  Then you sit for a minute and just stare out into the void for a moment.  With teaching you only have a minute to do that before you have to prepare for the next day and start grading papers or cleaning up or writing reports and statements.  A minute before you make phone calls and figure out who you have to talk to about what.  Saturday mornings I take to lay there in my bed after sleeping in for a bit.  Then I get up to be a mom and concentrate on some other forms of business.

In the summer, I hear too much.  I feel too much.  I bask but there are moments when I need to be tired from working and I'm not.  There are moments that the silences are too loud and I end up thinking too much about my circumstances and why they aren't perfect.  Yes, I know perfect does not exist on this plane.  I think I have too much time to think about what I would want if I had my say of what I would want.  You see this here?  This is feeding the ego.  This is feeding my ego.  You should know that the ego is never satisfied.  It wants more always.  Feeding the ego leads to just more insecurity.  You become more of who you are but it will cost you, eventually.  Why?  Because you are not God.  At the end of it all, we can not save ourselves.

I see mankind's main conflict as God's way vs. Our way.  We live for how long?  What happens then?  We die.  Morbid, I know.  But hear me out, please.  Do something good for someone else and how do you feel when you are not the center of your own attention?  There was an episode of Friends where Phoebe was trying to prove Joey wrong about being selfless.  In the end, selfless acts leave us with a good feeling for the most part.  I buy Birthday presents and the real present is my kids opening up the present and receiving their gift.  It's all grace isn't it?  

It's funny because when I remove my ego from the conflict, I can see the other person more clearly.  Is it really about me?  Sometimes it is but most of the time, it is people coping and emoting and you are in the splash zone.  We all can have some not so great coping strategies, if you didn't know, me included.  I'm hoping to get out of the splash zone someday.  Sometimes I am my own splash zone but right now, I'm praying for all of the teachers and caregivers; I'm praying for all of the students and parents to be aware that we are all people, humans, in need of other humans, to understand that we are but humans.  That's when having and knowing a Savior comes in handy.  He will gladly weather our splash zones to hold us in the storm.  To this I say, "Thank you, Jesus.  Praise the Lord!!!"

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