Opportunities

I admire greatly those people who see and seize opportunities.  These people are the movers and shakers of the world.  I'm more of a plopper.  I plop as I see the need, one step in front of the other. I like to stand there and just look ahead. I don't see what is just in front of me.  I turn and I see something else.  I turn again.  I can keep on turning and all I see are different directions.  A move forward is a commitment.  Who am I if I move?  Who am I if I change something?  

You don't know this but I used to love change.  Every school year brought with it something different that I used to love when I went to school.  I loved the newness of a new year.  I looked forward to change.  When I changed jobs, I used to love not knowing the different systems and I looked forward to learning new things and having new experiences.  What has changed?  Maybe I miss New York.  Maybe this all deals with my experiences during Covid?  I don't know.  I'm not sure.

I think of the word, "opportunities."  It's beautiful.  I smell green trees and grass.  I think of places I have never been before. I can not overlook this big beautiful sky that is in front of me.  I am happy.  This is my word.  In my head there is a refrain from Beauty and the Beast.  

"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere.  I want it more than I can tell..."  

I think of the vastness of God.  I think about how big He is and His paths.  I will take all of these hopes and wants and bring it to Him.  I wonder what He will tell me.  I'm not going to pretend that I know what He has planned.  However, in this moment, I pray for opportunities that will make me feel like a mover or a shaker instead of a plopper.  Maybe my commitment would be to my health.  Maybe my commitment would be to God.  Maybe I should be committed to finding ways that make me happy that doesn't have to do anything at all with the life that I'm living.  Should I take up painting?  Should I wear more make up or paint my nails on a regular basis?  I stopped wearing lipstick because of the mask that I wear.  Is eyeshadow a fix?  Perfume?  Reading?  Walking?  Opportunity...  again I smell the green smell of something new.  I will log off to pray in a bit but I guess you could say that I am praying for not just survival, but opportunity.  Praise the Lord!