You don't know this but I used to love change. Every school year brought with it something different that I used to love when I went to school. I loved the newness of a new year. I looked forward to change. When I changed jobs, I used to love not knowing the different systems and I looked forward to learning new things and having new experiences. What has changed? Maybe I miss New York. Maybe this all deals with my experiences during Covid? I don't know. I'm not sure.
I think of the word, "opportunities." It's beautiful. I smell green trees and grass. I think of places I have never been before. I can not overlook this big beautiful sky that is in front of me. I am happy. This is my word. In my head there is a refrain from Beauty and the Beast.
"I want adventure in the great wide somewhere. I want it more than I can tell..."
I think of the vastness of God. I think about how big He is and His paths. I will take all of these hopes and wants and bring it to Him. I wonder what He will tell me. I'm not going to pretend that I know what He has planned. However, in this moment, I pray for opportunities that will make me feel like a mover or a shaker instead of a plopper. Maybe my commitment would be to my health. Maybe my commitment would be to God. Maybe I should be committed to finding ways that make me happy that doesn't have to do anything at all with the life that I'm living. Should I take up painting? Should I wear more make up or paint my nails on a regular basis? I stopped wearing lipstick because of the mask that I wear. Is eyeshadow a fix? Perfume? Reading? Walking? Opportunity... again I smell the green smell of something new. I will log off to pray in a bit but I guess you could say that I am praying for not just survival, but opportunity. Praise the Lord!