I'm thinking about the days that we don't prepare for. These are the days that are sad and lonely. These are the days filled with pain. We pretend, don't we? We pretend that we don't have these days. Maybe you are one of the lucky ones that have no idea what I'm talking about. I pray that this is the majority of you. But if you know what I'm talking about then walk with me as I remember.
I miss my husband still. I'm amazed at this. You see. I can't recall the bad as well. What you remember is the good. It takes work to remember the bad days. The fights where you thought that you were going to have the police at the door because you were yelling so loud. Or the times when you were so mad. I don't remember. I don't want to remember. I only remember the good. I think back on our good days, our great days. I had moments that I didn't even know I was going to miss.
On days where I was feeling bad, I would go to the Dollar Tree and I would get pepperoni or salami and some type of cheese with chips or candy. When Santi saw the bag, he would follow me into the room. He would put on a show for the kids and he and I would have what we would call a bed picnic. I would recall my day while eating salty snacks with my love and this would make it all better. I would lay on his belly and he would tell me that everything would be okay. He would pray with me or read the Bible with me. The show would end and the bubble would break. Tomorrow would be another day.
It was a silly thing, but it was one of our things. As I become strong enough to remember. I want to remember the good days and our silly rituals. I need to remember. I want to be thankful that I was blessed enough to have all of those warm memories to keep with me. I want to thank God for that happiness. Even now, I am grateful. Praise the Lord!!!
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