Thursday, February 27, 2020

If I Could Be Anything...

Santi and I used to love the show, Seinfeld.  Whenever George would lose a job, you could find him and Jerry going over the probable jobs available.  "I like sports.  I could be a sportscaster."  Jerry's job was to remind him the feasibility of his plan. 

All day long, I remind my students to dream.  Recently I was talking with a student.  I asked him what he wanted to do.  He told me that after graduation he was going to work construction like his dad and uncle.  "No." I told him.  "What  would you do if you could do anything?"  His eyes lit up for a minute.  I could see him dreaming.  "I like to draw, Miss.  I would like to do something with fashion design."  My heart hurt me a little bit.  When did you stop dreaming, Kid?

I have people asking me what I want to do.  I can teach K-12... as a last resort.  In fact, my boss was like, "Listen, if you leave here only to do what you do hear, what are you leaving for?"  I hate to admit it but he is right!!!  Don't tell him.  I thought I would find myself a quiet classroom with younger, kids but... even now as I write this I'm thinking NO!!!!  I have found something out about myself during this time.  I didn't mind my job when I was writing IEPs and METs.  I didn't mind my job when I was testing.  I didn't mind meeting with parents and children.  I like meeting with people.  I don't even mind teaching but I don't want to cajole or entice.  I don't want to get yelled at by the people I'm trying to help for doing my job.  Yeah...  There's that... I want to help people who want to be helped.

I like words.  I like doing a good job.  I like being able to do a good job.  Does this mean staying in the field of education?  I don't know.  My first idea of a job was to be a nurse or a doctor like the ons that helped my mother. Then I developed this affinity for words. When I was younger, words were a mystery.  I was not a reader but I wanted to read.  I learned to love the library and the mystery found in books.  I remember going to my library almost every day.  I would take home so many books and read them over and over and over again.  In 8th grade, I thought of becoming a child psychologist.  In high school I thought to become a high school English teacher for at risk students.  I thought of being a lawyer and was in the Mock Trial Club all 4 years of high school.  In college, I thought to be an accountant but that quickly changed to writer.  After I graduated from college I wanted to be a singer.  It was only when I was pregnant with David that I allowed myself to think about becoming the thing the career assessments led me to... Teacher.  At this moment, I have been all of the dreams and more with the exception of doctor...  for now.  God is good to me.

Pray that God opens doors.  Pray that I listen and follow the right path.  Pray for my continued faith in God's perfect plan.  I'll let you know what happens.  So exciting!!!

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