I understood the power of words at a very young age. Words would help me. I wanted to know how they would work and how language would help with expression. Of course, I didn't say any of that when I was a child. I can barely acknowledge it now. But I knew and found amazing that c connected to o and a w makes the word cow. This was the first word I could read and spell with fluency. I learned it watching Sesame Street at a babysitter's house. At my house, I didn't watch Sesame Street. I found the show itself to be a little boring and too babyish for me. I liked The Brady Bunch and Gilligan's Island. I liked stories.
I have had a hard year. I have sat in silence processing. There is nothing that I can say, really, of any worth. Everything under the sun has already been said. Sitting in my life I tell myself that my voice does not need to be added to the throng. I'm not writing for other people. I am writing for myself. I have to get all of these words out. They have been choking me for far too long. I am done being quiet. I am done holding back the words that seem to choke me. If I am to move on with my life (and I need to move on), then I have to find a better way to process. This is it. I apologize for airing out my self-discovery therapy sessions. Sometimes it's about me and sometimes it is not. I just have to do what I have to do in order to grow and this is it.
I will do more for the next post. Until next time...
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