Monday, February 25, 2019


I was talking to Glenda.  We commented on the nature of this particular spring.  It has been cold here where we live.  Over drinks and fries this Sunday, we talked about this past year and about next steps.  There is peace in my life.  I'm always amazed at this peace that I have.  I expect to be emotional or frazzled and there is but peace and a sense of purpose.  As this cold winter starts turning to spring, I am hopeful.

My hope is for my children to always follow the path.  My hope is for my faith to grow in God.  My hope is to be content.  I pray to finish what God has put before me.  But even now, I am hopeful that even in my midlife, my future is safe and filled with happy moments yet to come.  I swear I hear him.  I hear my dear husband telling me not to linger in the pain.  I could almost hear him whisper that God is good and has a good plan for me.  I can barely remember a time without him.  It feels like he is woven into my very fabric.  I expected him to be expelled much like the way Magneto pulled all the iron out of the security guard and escaped his plastic prison (Always a Marvel nerd).  But Santi stays with me.  I look for him in our children.  There are traces in the way that they laugh of his smile.  I can hear his sense of humor and mannerisms in the way they interact with each other.  There is nothing but hope floating in the embers of loss and pain, floating upward in a glow. 

Isaiah 61:1-3
The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound; to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that he may be glorified. 

How encouraging is this passage to me!!!  Talk about having hope!  This is proof that God is with me.  I was reminded yesterday by a dear old friend that I am a delicate flower.  I call myself this.  I acknowledge that in myself I may not be able to do anything.  But rather than a temperamental orchid, I am the perennial rose coming forth each year strong and beautiful with thorns, wild and persistent.  God calls this delicate flower an 'oak of righteousness.' How can I not feel hopeful for tomorrow?

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