Winging It

 I guess I should explain.  I may have a lot to explain.  He asked me in December.  It was a Sunday and we were driving home after hanging out.  I think we kept it low key because he wanted to ask the children individually for permission.  He knew that would be important to them and it was.  There was no reason not to talk about it then.  I waited for a ring and he said that we would get one together because he wanted to make sure to get one I liked and wanted.  

It was David that sort of  let the cat out of the bag.  He came into the car after Wednesday Bible Study and told me that his youth group was praying for our engagement and upcoming wedding.  "It's okay, Mom."  He assured me.  "It's a small group and no one will tell." I laughed about it.  It wasn't a secret.  I don't want my children hiding it.  I guess you could say that I was trying to decide how to announce it. The bigger issue came on Sunday when Paula and later Harry, came up to me to quietly congratulate me.  This was my face, "..."  I really didn't know what they were congratulating me for.  This is what comes from winging it. Later, we talked about it in the car.  Geoff was not upset but he was taken by surprise, as was I and I had advanced notice. 

Do I want to talk about the ring?  I wear it over the band that signifies that God comes first.  That band is a thin yellow gold band.  I am so surprised at how big it seems when I wear it with the white gold engagement ring.  I have worn it all day today but no one has seemed to notice.  I'm okay with this.  It is a strange sensation being engaged after decades of not being engaged.  It has a different feel to it.  I went to Facebook to post it..  Here is where I ran into issues.  I am listed as widowed and my late husband's account has been memorialized.  On Saturday it will have been three years.  I couldn't seem to change it.  It felt too much like letting too much go.

The plan is to elope.  I have always wanted to elope.  A pandemic helps reinforce that smaller is better. He finds it funny that I want to go to Sin City to get married.  It's almost an oxymoron.  But it's part destination wedding too!!! Why do it this way?  I don't want to plan a wedding.  I did that already.  I want to plan a life.  Too many people will make it feel like too much.  But I do want a celebration.  I am, still, after all...Elle.     

As I write this, I search my heart and mind.  I am calm.  My prayer is: "Lead me only in Your paths, Lord."  I'm getting married, you guys.  Be in prayer for us.  I'm excited to know where God is taking us.  Praise the Lord!