When my daughter was smaller, she wanted a birthday party. She is my sweet extrovert. I remember trying to figure out how to throw a party for her. I ended up a few years in Peter Piper. One year I threw her a marvelous Valentine's Day party... Her birthday is in January. I couldn't do it sooner. Recently, I was talking to Janet and she mentioned how truly uncomfortable I always looked playing hostess at her parties.
I don't know when it was that I knew that I was not good at throwing parties or having a party thrown in my honor. I think I was in high school. I still remember the fiasco of my Sweet Sixteen party. I wanted a night out in a pretty dress eating at a fancy restaurant. Instead, a surprise party was thrown in my honor and I was ungrateful and anxious.
I cried every time I thought of having a big wedding the first time I got married. There was so much planning and I did it all. I was proposed to in the same year that my father passed away. I couldn't imagine walking down the aisle without him. My cousin, Ricky was lent to me by my dear cousin, Dee. Her father did a great job walking me down the aisle and dancing with me at the reception; but I missed my father and the whole day I kept back tears because he wasn't there.
People are so sweet, congratulating me on our engagement. They ask me for a date for the wedding. I don't know. I'm hoping to wake up soon and say, "Today's the day." I'm thinking that it will be soon. I have an outfit and I have been looking at some outfits for the children. The Vegas wedding is becoming a backyard wedding somewhere. Already my heart is racing. Anything else than Vegas means planning. I think the Runaway Bride had the right idea getting married on a hill with a minister somewhere and just announcing it when she was ready. Am I the only one like this?
Let's see what happens. Whatever may happen, I'll let you know... after the fact. I have all of these things up in the air. I pray, "God, I don't know but I'm trusting in You with everything." That's all. Praise the Lord!!!