There are a lot of things in my life right now that feel (not are) "in-between." I have a tween, a teen living with me. I am finishing up a degree (hopefully). I sit here now on a break from work. I think people are expecting a response. I don't really have one. I'm just treading water or jogging to try and get to the next phase. I want to stand here and be upset. I want to sit here and complain. I do!!! Let me try it.
"I don't like this in-betweeness."
"I don't always know what to do."
"I may not be comfortable."
"I don't know how to start things sometimes."
"I don't know if I know how to finish things either."
Okay. That didn't really help at all. I still have all the things I have to do and now I'm a complainer. That's not good.
Let me try something else...
I don't really know how to pray right now. I'm not sure I should pray this prayer in such a public forum. I believe in You, God. I believe that You have a plan, that you have a plan for my life. God, I'm not really sure how to be a good teacher. I don't know if talking to kids is effective. I don't know if I'm a good mom or even a good human. In fact, I'm sure that I am mediocre and there are definitely somethings that I am failing at. Me, by myself is not very impressive, but I am not by myself, am I? You are with me. Your rod and staff comfort me (Psalm 23). Even if I never leave this in-between. I look to You as the source of my hope and my joy. You are with me, God. Thank You.
I'm smiling now. It's that easy. I may log off and have to pray again. I can do that. I may have to say a mini prayer every minute of every day. I'm okay with that. Honestly it's not so bad. I can't wait to see what God has in store. Praise the Lord!
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