Tuesday, September 8, 2020

Being Pulled Out

 It took a lot to get me out of whatever funk had happened.  I looked back on the past week and I have been carrying a lot of stress about the unknown future.  I can tie all of that stress in with some exhaustion, worry about work and school, mom guilt, a budding relationship and not fully trusting God on upcoming issues like the election and my future.  I started working out in a challenge and as I relax and took it easy,  I could feel the strain on my muscles and my bones.  I got a blister which indicates that I somehow ate something with gluten and this just adds to whatever I am going through. Oh!!!  And hormones!!!  Let's not forget them.  

I'm afraid of pain.  I'm afraid of failing.  Well...  I'm afraid of the uncertainty of pain and the uncertainty of failing.  It's the not knowing that gets you.  There I was just feeling raw.  It seemed to have come out of the blue.  I knew it would not last long.  There are some feelings you know will be with you for a while and some you have an idea will just take a moment.  I was tempted to eat my feelings away.  I was tempted to have a glass of wine to "relax."  I laid down and played one of my phone games.  I drank water.  I did eat a piece of fruit and then I took a little nap.  I woke up and some of the effects of my bad mood had dissipated.  

The other thing is that I prayed.  I prayed verbally small prayers to God.  I took time out and wrote out in my journal a prayer to my Lord.  I read a portion of Scripture.  Today, I can still feel the emotions.  They were like a black cloud or an itch that hovered and niggled at me.  I woke up from that nap refreshed.  I spent time with my daughter and yesterday, I barely remembered that I had been in a bad mood.  Bad moods need patience to wait them out.  Like all moments, they don't tend to last very long and we can choose to forget them and remember better ones.  

I am thankful.  I praise God from Whom all blessings flow; even the blessing of coming out of a bad mood kicking and screaming.  I am thankful for being pulled out off my bad mood, even allowing a nap and some good food for a stressed out Mama like me.  Thank you, Lord.  

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