Friday, March 8, 2019

Warrior Princess

I have spoken about growing up with my mother.  She was sick.  She had Lupus.  I was her miracle baby.  I felt how much she spoiled me when her presence was no longer there.  Why do I bring this up now?  Because I always felt like a princess.  My mother was the beautiful queen and I was more than willing to learn how to smile through suffering from her.  I love her so much still.  She was a force to be reckoned with.  I am my mother's daughter.  Even now, thinking about her 36 years after her death I think she is the most beautiful woman I have ever had the privilege to know. 

It took me a while to get my bearings but I went from princess to warrior.  My father was quick to teach me how to fight.  I remember getting into a physical altercation with this kid at church camp I still talk to (Hi Paul!).  My father took me aside and taught me how to throw a punch.  I couldn't wait to fight!  This poor kid was the one I first tried out my fighting prowess on.  I was like four years old.  One day when I was in college, my dad takes me aside and tells me in Spanish, "You are a woman, you're Latina and your are fat."  I remember telling him, "Thanks, Dad!"  He says, "No!  You are a woman in a world that is man dominated.  You are Latina when the powers in charge are white.  You are fat when it is skinny that people want.  Now that you know all of this, what are you going to need to do in order to fight in this world that does not look like you."  I don't mention this as an affront or to be racist.  My father talking to me this way was in a way telling me how to navigate in this world.  I believe that he was asking me, "How are you going to fight in this world that is different than you?"  

It feels like I have been fighting my whole life.  Every moment I am fighting something.  Sometimes the biggest thing I am fighting is myself.  I know what it is like to lose in a physical fight.  I know what it feels like to have my clock cleaned and what it feels like to have a black eye.  I know what it feels like to have a bloody nose and a fat lip.  I know that what wins a fight is not physical strength.  It may not always be mobility.  What wins is will.  The will to win in a fight; and sometimes it is not enough.  

I see this world as a battle field.  I Timothy 6:12:  
Fight the good fight of the faith.  Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called when you made your good confession in the presence of many witnesses.

II Corinthians 10:4:
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world.  On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds.

I see myself as a warrior princess.  In my mind's eye I walk as such.  I walk with the Lord of Hosts by my side and an angel army behind me.  Wherever I go, I roll deep!!!  Whenever I think about hard stuff is, I remember what David told Goliath, "The battle is the Lord's."

I'll leave you with the link to this video that bolsters my strength when I need it.

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