Now that I am finishing up my "final" degree, I find that I have to rethink my opportunities. I thought I would be some kind of professor and I would live a small life teaching adults how to do something in a small community college. This may not be now and there are so many things that I am facing as a result. Of course, at this point in my story, I look up to the heavens and my prayer is, "God, what are you up to?" I say this with a smirk and I am confidant that the story that God is leading me on is much better than the one that I had set up for myself. It's just not what I expected.
I am happy, despite my massive failure. I am celebrating not being a doctor by graduating (ahead of time) in a few weeks. There are times that I find a small shame in explaining to people that I have failed and instead of a doctorate, I will be earning a Masters in Leadership. I have to laugh at it all. I have never seen myself as a leader in the same way that I didn't think I was a teacher and yet here I am working on about 17 years of teaching. There is such an honor in graduating though. God has been so merciful to me! I am amazed at God's goodness in my life.
I think that there is a question of what is next. I have been talking it out with my family. We are talking about taking vacations. I'm trying to get into a ministry at the church (now that I have more time). I am looking at books to read and I'm basking in this hot autumnal season and I am hoping that in the South West, I get a reprieve from the heat and I am able to enjoy a proper sweater weather.
I just read a book about wishing and I guess that if I am honest, I have always wanted to write. Look at me now! I'm writing! I may not make my living off of it but here I am writing. God is good to me. I had wanted to be a singer and every Sunday I am afforded the opportunity to sing. God is great to me. I think that I will go for long walks and enjoy sunsets. I think that I will spend time with my family. I think that I will try an appreciate the little things in my life each and every day because tomorrow is not promised and here I am staunchly in today. I know that there are moments that are hard and defeating. I know that I am not who I was and I may not be who I would like to be but at this moment my heart is full, my cup runs over and God is good to me. Praise the Lord!