Sunday, October 2, 2022

Thinking Ahead

 Now that I am finishing up my "final" degree, I find that I have to rethink my opportunities.  I thought I would be some kind of professor and I would live a small life teaching adults how to do something in a small community college.  This may not be now and there are so many things that I am facing as a result. Of course, at this point in my story, I look up to the heavens and my prayer is, "God, what are you up to?"  I say this with a smirk and I am confidant that the story that God is leading me on is much better than the one that I had set up for myself.  It's just not what I expected.  

I am happy, despite my massive failure.  I am celebrating not being a doctor by graduating (ahead of time) in a few weeks.  There are times that I find a small shame in explaining to people that I have failed and instead of a doctorate, I will be earning a Masters in Leadership.  I have to laugh at it all.  I have never seen myself as a leader in the same way that I didn't think I was a teacher and yet here I am working on about 17 years of teaching.  There is such an honor in graduating though.  God has been so merciful to me!  I am amazed at God's goodness in my life.  

I think that there is a question of what is next.  I have been talking it out with my family.  We are talking about taking vacations.  I'm trying to get into a ministry at the church (now that I have more time).  I am looking at books to read and I'm basking in this hot autumnal season and I am hoping that in the South West, I get a reprieve from the heat and I am able to enjoy a proper sweater weather.  

I just read a book about wishing and I guess that if I am honest, I have always wanted to write.  Look at me now!  I'm writing!  I may not make my living off of it but here I am writing.  God is good to me.  I had wanted to be a singer and every Sunday I am afforded the opportunity to sing.  God is great to me.  I think that I will go for long walks and enjoy sunsets.  I think that I will spend time with my family.  I think that I will try an appreciate the little things in my life each and every day because tomorrow is not promised and here I am staunchly in today.  I know that there are moments that are hard and defeating.  I know that I am not who I was and I may not be who I would like to be but at this moment my heart is full, my cup runs over and God is good to me.  Praise the Lord! 

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