I think we are all so familiar with the concept of, "When it rains it pours." That we automatically look for more stuff to come when things become overwhelming. Hence the fact that people even before the year started looked toward 2021 with weary dry eyes wondering what fresh hell the year would bring us. As if a year actually brought something.
I am one who is more of a reflector. I go through things and later look back to see what I did and how I felt. I don't need to look back and see that this time has been hard. It has been hard in a season of hardness. Meeting Geoff has been nice but it doesn't take away or negate that we have been living in hard times.
This past week has brought with it more difficulty. The capitol has been stormed and with this spark, those whose consciousness has been doused with gasoline regarding social injustice now have an inferno of implications to rail at. There is a cascade of anger spurned on by the false righteousness of those who are happy that the mighty have fallen. Rather than to dance and celebrate I look to God. It never mattered who was in office because God is in control. Here is the problem. It is hard to bring your feelings under submission of the truth. I want to feel what I want to feel regardless of the pure unadulterated fact that God is mighty and good and He has a plan.
Let's add all this to me losing my wifi and then subsequently changing my plan and spending what seems like hours with Cox Cable representatives to restore what I am finding out I need. How did we manage without wifi systems before? I picked up a book because it was that alarming my dependence on being entertained. This was STRESSFUL!!! I was working and trying to provide data for my two children who are at home trying to learn during a pandemic.
And then, there is what could only be PMS. I'm pre-menopausal. Yesterday as I sat watching my television NOT connect to the wifi, I felt it. I felt so down. Nothing is ever going to go right again. I'm rereading Proverbs because I am one who desperately needs wisdom and God to handle life. I read this devotional where it was said that we are here but a moment and after... eternity with God. They talked of people with ailments and diseases. They talked of those that spent their lives in pain and they lived this short life that we have before us. Yesterday I was down.. Today... I am still down but I look toward heaven and God and I know and feel that God has a plan. God is in control. I may fail.. I have failed but God is with me. If God is for me than who can be against me?
I ate breakfast. I had eggs, sausages and homefries with butter and seasoning. I drank coffee and I had a slab of Hershey's special dark chocolate with almonds. I promise you that it is like some sort of drug. I combed my hair and did my face a little. Yes, I'm definitely feeling it now. God is good. Praise the Lord!!!