Monday, November 2, 2020


It is autumn.  I think of the seasons as a cycle.  As humans, we only go through this cycle once.  We start in the Spring.  Our youth is the Summer.  Middle age is Autumn and old age is Winter.  Am I the only one who thinks this?  Well, I love Autumn.  It really is one of the only things I miss about New York City.  I miss the feeling of Fall.  This post is not about Fall.  This post is about how I have been quiet.  What have I been doing that I have not been writing?  I have been teaching and learning.  I have been praying and adulting.  I have been pouting and worrying sometimes.  Transitions are hard!!!  I haven't wanted to sit down and look at the state of things.

Still working on grad school.  Still teaching high school.  Still trying to inspire.  I think of the term burn out and if it really does exist.  Who would I be if I changed something?   What would I be?  Isn't that the question?  Yes, I have been through a lot.  I have learned that life is short.  So...  how much time do you think I have left?  Maybe another 50 years.  Will I be able to do the things I can do now?  Doubtful, right?  I mean, I don't think I will have the mobility but I might.  What would I do?  Can I write books?  When will I do this?  What kind of legacy will I leave?  What message would I like to leave the world?  Robin Thicke has this one song called "Lonely World."  The words of the last verse goes like this: 
    "Beautiful mom can you smile? 
    Can you glow? 
    Can you sing me my favorite song? 
    Coffee for one, clothes are clean, kids are gone.  
    What to do?  She's a sleeping sun.  
    She sees birds fly out of windows.  
    She watches jealousy.  
    She says she's too old for new things.  
    But Mama you got wings."

I think as a society, we are so focused on the young.  No wonder that we feel a certain way once you get to be a certain way.  I haven't stopped learning.  I continue to grow.  I continue to adapt and adjust and dream.  Are there co-ops for middle aged people trying to re-evaluate and re-commence their passions?  Should we start forming support groups?  "Hi.  My name is Elle.  I'm middle-aged."  I don't know.  I think we are a pretty powerful demographic and maybe we should join forces and rule the world.  Maybe I will be the next president: The first ever Latina president!!!  LOL!!!  Maybe I know the next Latina president.  I tell students that skies are the limit, maybe I should start telling myself.  Because life is short and God is big.  Thank You, God for this abundant life.  Praise God!!!

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