Aging Hurts

 I wish there was a warning label on aging.  I wish they would sell stickers to put on mirrors reminding the observer that things are only going to get worse.  Aging hurts.  This is something I didn't expect.  I'm not talking about the aches and pains associated with aging.  I'm not a fan of rain because my knees creak and ache when it rains. This is bad enough, but there's more!  The physical pain doesn't seem to shine a light compared to the psychological effects of knowing that there is every possibility that I have lived most of my life already.  

All of a sudden, I feel the need to show that I have lived a worthy life.  I want my little, tiny strand of a life to matter, but to who?  Even now in my August age, I am attempting to be validated.  I should tell you about my rockstar dreams.  It was through my relationship to God that I learned that I had already been validated thousands of years ago when my Savior died on a wooden cross to that I may be free.  

I need to shift my paradigm.  The wrinkles and loose skin that I encounter in the mirror.  The gray hair that I am always fighting pops up and asks, "Did you miss me?"  I didn't. I start the whole game of hide and seek again.  When I don't, people (like this one well-intentioned woman) assume that I am already retired.  Cashiers ask if I would like the senior discount.  When she asked me, I was tempted to tell her no because I would rather not save money than to be confused with one of the AARP ilk.  I'm finding that I am vain.  I wish you could hear the onslaught of humility in my voice, and it echoes in my head in stereo.  I am vain, an admission of guilt.  

I need to be okay with getting older.  I am loved by a good God even while I am aging.  Even being post-menopausal.  If I don't write the great American novel, I am still loved by a good God.  Every day that I grow older is another step toward my inevitable demise.  I am closer to God each step I take.  I should not be worried about all of the stuff that I haven't done.  I need to be concerned with living my life for Christ so I can be presented as worthy through grace of God alone.  It's a lot, I know.  I have to hear this so I write it.  

Instead of watching what is coming.  I am going to praise God through all of my pain.  I'm going to live in today instead of trying to peek at what is coming tomorrow.  Today is what it is but whatever happens, God is control.  Praise the Lord!