Saturday, November 19, 2022

Ducks in a Row

 I got a new computer.  Right now I am not using it.  I am looking at it while typing on my old one.  I look at how broken in the old one is.  This new one isn't even heavy!  How is it supposed to hold all of my thoughts?  It has no weight to it!   There are not a million and one things on the home page that I don't need.  When did computers get so streamlined?  I feel like a dinosaur looking at this thing.  It didn't take any time at all to load up.  I find it now that I have to get used to new things.

My husband was talking to me about the plans that we have for after this last class occurs and I find that I have to be honest with myself.  What would it be like to come home and not have to do homework?  I find that I miss the research and the worry.  I find myself thinking of looking things up.  I won't have to feel guilty about reading any more.  I could go on walks and work out.  My husband has already claimed my work out time after work.  Who will I be if I'm not an academic?  

I have been dreaming dreams again.  I forgot that I was a dreamer.  I loved making plans and attempting new things.   As I get my ducks in a row, I can remember who I am again.  I find myself reading books.  I buy them and will bring them home with the hopes of reading them.  I look at crochet and knitting projects online.  I have a hobby again.  I can start stretching and working toward my yoga.  I have time and great need for this, especially as I grow older.  Is it too late?  Am I too old to dream dreams again?

I'm dreaming anyway.  There is still a lot of life left in me.  I am learning from my cat, Midnight.  He was at death's door and now I am thrilled to see him fighting every day.  Every day I hug him and I love on him.  Every day with him fighting is a precious gift.  I am committed to loving him for as long as he is on this earth.  He has taught me to fight for each day as well.  This means reading the Bible more.  This means praying more.  This means loving more.  God has a plan for me.  It didn't go according to my plan but according to His plan.  For that, Friends, I am grateful.  Praise the Lord!

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