On the Verge of Doing or Not Doing

I think that all of us has been faced with hard things, things that make us question if the better thing would be to leave.  You should know that I am not one of those people.  Usually when presented with something difficult, I am the one that says, "Let's keep on going."  When the pain is too great I am the one who says, "Praise You, Jesus because I know that you are with me."  That is unless I have a charlie horse, then I'm cursing up a blue streak.  Or if I forget that I have a small cut on my hand and I put on hand sanitizer; that's the devil riling me up.

Okay, in any case, this year has been a rough year.  I have been working and struggling with the completion of a very personal goal.  I promise I'll share about it soon.  I was contemplating giving up.  I asked myself, "Who would you be if you just gave up?  What would it mean?  How would you handle it?"  And honestly, it didn't feel good.  I talked about it with God and I really wanted to hear what He had to say about the matter.  I talked to my husband and I then brought the issue around to my children.  They have to live with their mother failing too.

My kids are so loving and supportive but it was my daughter who called me to task and let me know that I am not a quitter and that she knew that I could accomplish this goal.  I guess you could say that this is what I needed in order to face my Goliath with some stones, borrowed from my little girl.  

But being in this place leaves you paralyzed and scared.  I was simultaneously ashamed and weakened by the prospect of failing.  And here is the thing, I may still fail.  It is not done.  I understand now why God states that the end of something is better than the beginning (Ecclesiastes 7:8). How many people are stuck in a shame pattern due to the inability either physicially, emotionally or mentally, to finish a goal?  I understand that.  I mean, not everyone has someone in their corner.  Not everyone has the assurances of God in their lives.  

Here is what I want you to do.  Be kind to people.  Pray for them as the smallest act.  Because there are people who have spent their whole lives in the year that I have had and I can't even imagine.  

And if you are one of these people, just know that I am praying for you right now, Dear Reader, that the Lord unfreeze you and that you have faith in God to move on or away from this thing that has a hold of you.  You are loved.  Praise God!  That's all.