The Night Before the Wedding

 It's been a crazy month so far.  Honestly, it's been a crazy season.  There are still things that need to be done before tomorrow but I'm sitting here praying thankful prayers tonight.  I'm clueless.  I don't really know how to go about things.  My friends have been understanding.  I mean... I planned this thing during a pandemic in a couple of months.  I'm amazed at the love and the support that I have felt this year.  I didn't know this was coming.  I couldn't predict this.  I can only thank God.  I pray that I can lose the mess that I currently am to allow Him to work.  I would like Him to work on and through my life.  That's why I write these blogs.  I think it's okay to be a mess.  I think it's okay to not have all of the answers.  I think it's okay to be older.  It's okay to be not so pretty and not so personable.  I think it's okay to be not so thin or wonderful.  It's okay because God takes my minimal oks and He adds to my account.  

I recently said that I could afford to be kind.  It's true.  I can.  Because He forgave me and died on my behalf so that I don't have to worry about the burden of sin.  I'm learning that I can AFFORD to forgive too.  This forgiveness thing,  I don't know how it works but it is a healing thing not to put out more hate and anger out into the world.  

I love my fiance.  I am happy to love him and I pray that I can love him well.  I can go to God, who is love to find my source of more love.  More love to pour into my marriage.  More love too pour into my children... Just more love.  Not even my pale, poor love but God's love, the real kind of love, the good stuff.  

I know I write about God a lot.  I love Him.  I owe Him everything.  God allowed me a whole relationship.  And then, my sweet husband went home.  There was pain but I was not alone.  I was never alone.  I was being looked after and loved.  Even then, I was blessed beyond all measure.  I was a widow.  I was that sad word.  

Did I find Geoff or did he find me?  I don't know.  He smiles at me and the world becomes a beautiful color of wonderful.  He belongs to us and we belong to him.  I think that God had something to do with it.  

The day before my wedding, I'm sitting here thankful.  I posted the live stream link.  I think it will be okay.  I'm excited.  Be in prayer for us.  Sing all of the wedding songs tonight and be happy for me, please.  I was lost but now I'm found.  I was blind but now I see.  Praise the Lord!