II Corinthians 12:7-10
"So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But He said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I have been marinating on this Bible passage. I am having a difficult season. I could understand going through a hard season to keep me from becoming conceited. Ego is a huge thing. It can take over your life and lead you away from your true purpose. I have seen this more than a few times. We begin to think that we can do everything on our own. Humans were made to live in community with each other and with God. Who are we when we think that we can do everything ourselves with no help? I mean, isn't this what happened with Adam and Eve in the Garden. They thought they could do it all themselves with no help from the Creator of the Universe. Who am I? I can't do everything. Am I more valuable than anybody else? Are you? Honestly, as I think of it, there is every possibility that I am not that special.
In the same vein, I think about the people that I work with. I am a teacher. I wonder every day if anything that I teach will make a difference in this world. I wonder about the students left in my care. You may not know this but teaching is rough! I'm working with pre-teens. I have friends of mine that dare not tread the path I choose to teach. Yet... I think about grace. Grace is a gift that we as humans find hard to give and yet God gives grace freely and he is telling me that it is enough to last me my hardships. It is enough to last me my hard year. I can bear with being week and having issues and bad situations because God's grace is enough for me. If it is enough for me, then it can be enough for you too.
I'll add another note to illustrate my point. I turned on the television today and I saw that "A Knight's Tale" was being offered and I recalled the last time I watched this movie. It was Sunday March 4th, 2018, the day before my son's 12th birthday and two days before my husband and partner of 24 years passed away. This was the last movie I saw with him and just remembering this one thing brought the grief back. Pain so sharp that it instantly brings tears to my eyes. As I sit here now I can fast forward to where I am now. I don't have to relive that pain. God has shed His grace on me. It's true, I can withstand a hard year because God is with me and He has helped and me and He will continue to help me. He will not forsake me nor abandon me. This is enough. God is enough. Praise the Lord!